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Original video here.


 "I've always dreamed of being in a musical!"  ...why am I doing this?
 
I don't know why it is that in France this genre is widely criticized - sometimes totally reviled.  [He sings an extract from "Aimer", interjecting "smile, bitch!" between breaths. From offscreen: "Shut up!"]  It's true, we often call French musical production teams cheap or say the songs are silly and meant for little prepubescent teens, not "Broadway" enough or, or- "
 
When will we have shows like the ones on Broadway?  The way they sing, they dance, they act onstage, it really has that extra something, it- Albert, your show was really great!"  [Hypocrite]
 
Shut up. Fully shut your mouth.
 
In fact, in France there are very popular musicals that are very successful!  People somewhere like it, and wouldn't you say that's the most important thing? No? Yes?
 
The first musical I saw was Les Dix Commandements.  I adored it!  The sets, the staging, the singers!  I felt like a kid, I was totally--don't judge me!
 
The scene that really stuck with me was when Moses and his companions, followed by the Egyptians, arrive in front of the Red Sea.  Then they have to deal with a new problem: the sea.  The water.
 
"Come on, follow me, I know the way, we're gonna get 'em- holy shit, what the fuck, there's water everywhere!  We weren't expecting this, fuck, we look like dicks now!  And you, quit (note: he trails off here and I can't understand the rest of the bit) "
 
After I saw that show I said that I wanted to do a musical too!  I wanted to sing, I wanted to act, I wanted to... to do my job. [#Unemployment Office Musical]  So I went to auditions!  Yep.  I auditioned for everything, in fact.  For more than ten years.  [#No I Didn't Struggle]  Hey, I had to get some things straightened out before I could get it right!
 
I took singing lessons [#Bullshit] I mean, yeah, I did Star Academy, but weirdly enough I didn't come out any better than when I went in.  I took dance lessons [#Bullshit]... I took tap-dancing lessons... wait, I never took tap-dancing lessons... shit! You know, tap-dancing is really important in France.  I'm going to write myself a post-it note.
 
The first audition I went to was for Le Roi Soleil.  It was a total failure.  "Good day! I am going to do an interpretation today of a ballad by Count Pokora entitled 'She controls me'!" [Offscreen: "You can go."] "Wait, but I haven't sung yet!  I'll come back!"
 
But I didn't lose hope after that audition.  There are a lot of opportunities, I did others, and then there was Mozart l'Opéra Rock.  Ah, Mozart l'Opéra Rock.  That audition, on the other hand... was a total failure.  "Hello. I've come for the role of Salieri." [Yes, that's Chopin playing in the background.]  [Offscreen: "You can go."] "Wait, I haven't sung yet! I- I'll be back!"
 
The truth is that the failure didn't sting that badly this time, because a little while later the production team called to give me an acting role.  "Yeah, okay, fine, I don't sing, but at least I get to act!  Drama!"
 
That gave me the confidence to keep trying, and today I've just finished four months of performances at the Casino de Paris in "Mistinguett: Reine des Années Folles"!  It was great!  I sang, I acted, I danced, I tap-danced, I- wait, shit, the tap-dancing wasn't me, it was Benchenafi... I've really gotta write that post-it note!
 
"Mistinguett Reine des Années Folles, the theater event of the season!  Thirty-five performers onstage, two and a half hours of show and total happiness.  The incredible story of the woman who revolutionalized music halls.  Mistinguett Reine des Années Folles, currently at the Casino de Paris, then on tour throughout France!  With DirectMatin and RTL." [This is an old commercial! We're at the Comedia Theater starting April 17, 2015.]
 
The cherry on top of the cake is that Mistinguett will be back soon at the Comedia!  Yep, still in Paris!  Be patient.
 
If you liked this video, you can subscribe to my channel or find me on facebook, twitter, and instagram.  You can also leave a comment and tell me which musical you like best.  It's just great!  Alright, bye!

Patrice Maktav on Facebook
Patrice Maktav on Twitter
Patrice Maktav on Instagram
 
 
This is your fault, you bitch!
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